tears

First, is Friday, went out with a friend and her family to an art event.

Then, is Sunday, went to a movie with friends.

Skip church two times in a row.

At the beginning, angry about him, then sad or worry, tearing, don't know what to

do. 

Praying unceasing, the only option.

lower back pain

The other night I was awaken by my lower back pain.

I was terrified for I had 2 major lower back pains back in a few years ago that I was waking up in the morning with serve pain that couldn't even move or get out of the bed.

This time I didn't want say that I was lucky and awaken in the middle of night instead with the pain that I could bear and move and prayed that God to take my worries and fears away and give me strength and wisdom and help myself to move to the posture to ease my pain before it developed into serious pain.

When I awoke in the morning the pain was much less and I went to work and the pain was completely gone before noon.

Though at that time I felt that I was so broken but God come to rescue, He is my comforter, rescuer, stronghold, healer and everything in any ways.

Never give up for God is watching over each one of us; He is waiting for us to call for help from Him.

Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace) - Hillsong Worship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz9xKtRhpjc

prayer needed

Recently, some close church members are either sick or injured.

I’ll try to visit them as many as I can.

For this is the least that I can do besides pray for them.

upset

My whole weekend's joy can easily be destroyed by a weekly meeting.

That’s exactly, how weak is a human being.

Plant

A plant from a friend died, probably because some kind of disease, I was frustrated.

Less than 2 months ago, his daughter had a rather serve incident and injured badly.

Lately this plant re-sprout, may this be the sign of his daughter's fully recovery.

ear

On Wednesday night, I started to notice that for like 2 or 3 days, whenever I burped, I felt the pain in my ears.

At first, I didn't really care, I must burp too hard, I thought.

And then, I’m kind of worry, is that something wrong with me?

I prayed to God, Lord you are the creator, please take care of my worry, if there's anything is not belong to me, take them away.

On Thursday morning the weird feeling’s all gone.

Answer

If you ask the following question to someone. What's your plan?

And the answer is as such. Work, be miserable and then die.

Don’t know what will be your answer or your response to this answer.

Here is mind.

At that very moment, the air around me, my heart, my tongue suddenly frozen.

.

I was searching for some worship songs and sang along with them, all of the sudden, no words, no sounds came out of my mouth, none, cannot talk or sing.

Felt hopeless, worried, frustrating, desperate, questions came out of my mind, why, what, how, when and where is this kind of answer came up with?

Quickly I went in the room, pray and pray.

I want to cry but no tears.

I want to shut but no voice.

I want to get angry but no emotion.

I want to sing but no rhyme.

I want to move but no strength.

呼求你憐憫-生命河靈糧堂(奔向愛我的神)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IyJcldJz754

支氣管 Bronchus

台語有一句話說，「你皮在癢啊!?」，我最近倒是常感覺到，歐喔！我的皮又在冷了」。

怎麼說呢，數年前因為疏忽，感冒和咳嗽很久，沒有好好的醫治，當時，自以為年輕身體強壯可恢復快速，結果造成氣管、支氣管、以致於細支氣管都非常的脆弱，只要天氣一涼，風一吹，特別是吹到冷氣或者吃了冰涼的東西或者刺激性的食物或者是話講的太多就開始咳嗽不斷，讓我感到非常的苦惱。

後來才慢慢覺醒，開始注意自己身體的調理和開始參加了讚美操的運動練習，漸漸的我的氣管問題才了明顯的改善。

但最近由於工作和家庭兩頭忙，常常沒有時間去做讚美操的運動，又加上最近因為天氣炎熱，我開始不忌口，只覺得太熱了，受不了了，所以，吃和喝了很多冰冷的東西，又加上在辦公室一天數小時的吹冷氣，我敏感的氣管 - 咳嗽又復發了。

人真是非常軟弱，明知對自己好的事卻不去做，對自己不好、不該做的事，卻不能節制，最終受害的還是自己。

主啊！求祢幫助我，求祢用你的聖靈緊緊地把我保抱在你的懷裡，祢是我的手，祢是我的腳，祢是我的心思意念，祢是我的一切，幫助我，幫助我作對的事，禱告奉告主耶穌基督的名來求，阿們！

對了！我該去做讚美操的運動了。下次再聊。

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt2jiE3wPXQ

There’s a saying in Taiwanese, "Your skin is itch ah!?", that means that you are not behave and someone is going to scold you, recently, I often feel, "Oh! No! I feel my skin is cold."

Why do I say that? A few years ago because of my negligence, my cold and coughing last for a long time, I didn’t even take good care of myself at that time, I thought, young as I, was physically strong and can recovery quickly. The result, my trachea, bronchi, bronchioles become so very weak and vulnerable, and later, once the weather change into cool, wind blows, especially the air-conditioning or eat something cold or irritating food or talk for some time then I’ll  cough hard and constantly, this, makes me feel very depressed.

Then slowly I learn, and begin paying attention to my own health and begin participating in the praise dance exercises regularly and gradually my bronchial problem improves significantly.

However, lately I’m so busy with work and kids, often, do not have time to do the praise dance exercise, plus the hot weather presently, I start to eat and drink a lot of cold food at will to get away from the heat and cool myself down, and hours of air-conditioning in the office each day, my sensitive trachea – coughing problem, reoccur again.

Humans are really very powerless beings, knowing it’s a proper thing to do but fail to, and for things is not right to do but can not control ourselves, eventually, we pay the price for the consequences unwilling.

Oh! Lord! please help me, Thy Holy Spirit protect me and embrace me tightly, You are my hands, You are my feet, You are my mind and heart, You are my everything, help me to do what I should do, pray in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Oh! Yes! Go to go! It’s my praise dance exercise time. Talk to you soon.

not my day

I get my first serious traffic ticket, my sunglasses broken, on sale ran out on me and I phone broken down. It happens within 3 months, and three of the things happen in one day. Well! What can I say, be more careful, follow the rules and pray, pray, pray!
 
Oh! Yes! Read and write more often!

life

Sometimes, don’t know why? Suddenly, feeling sad, I’m a sensitive person. What I see, hear, or even when the weather changes, I can feel them or maybe is it the age, the hormone change?

One of the benefit from my job now, is I can decide not to go in the office just like that, no need to inform anyone, rest at home, and I can even handle my work from home via email or phone call.

Thank God, yesterday my older one, constantly checking on me, because he’s bored or maybe he’s finally realizes that mom is not always strong enough and need some supports some time.

We all went out and eat together, we talk, and joke around, I really enjoy.

But before I can notice, kids grow up, too soon, one day they’ll have their own family. It’s never too early too pray for their future family, a right spouse for them. Lives full of God’s graces and guidance.

Mercy

One of my close friends, Mercy dies from stomach cancer days ago.

To me, she is more like a family than just a sister in Christ. Often time, whenever I encounter some troubles or question or whatever troubles me, I’ll talk to her. And she is always so kind, tender and patient to talk me through.

Weeks ago, two weeks before she pass away, I try to call to say hello, and again try to ask her some opinion on something that worry my heart. But at that point she is so weak, so we didn’t talk a lot, just simple and short daily conversation and blessings to each others. Never get chance to talk about my problem, but as soon as I hung up, I seem can feel that she’ll tell me, “don’t worry, you’ll be fine, and you are capability to solve this issue yourself and trust in God alone on anything.”

The day after she passes away, friend call me to inform me, we talk and pray on the phone. That’s when I spot something on our side table, an elegant glass heart shape container that laying there with some dusts and small things in it. This brought me in a nice memory about her. This is one of the gifts that one or two years ago, she gives for me and children for the Christmas should be. You know Chinese is humble, right? So when she gives me the present, I say, “You don’t have to”, but still take it anyway, and you won’t open the present right in front of her for polite. So when I go home and open the gifts and show to my kids and joyfully say, “See! Those are the gifts that from Jessica’s grandma”.  We look at those gifts one by one, kids are so happy too. And when sees this refined glass heart shape container, kids ask a question, “I wonder why people give this kind of gift”. At that moment, I have no idea why, but only thought those are all her generosity and blessings to us. Now I finally realize that’s no just a gift or blessings, it’s a reminder from her too, “not to fill your heart us all those dusts and some negative thoughts, like worry, burden, anger or hurt and so forth, otherwise there won’t any space for God’s love.”

It’s just like Mercy; her heart must full of God’s love, so she can love others unconditional.

I believe that she is resting with the Lord now. Pray for God to continue to bless her love ones.

talkative

This is somewhat hard to share or I shouldn’t still constantly keep this negative thought in mind. Thereby, I need bunch of supporting prayers.

 

I know it from different position, same thing; you may have different of explanations or rules.

 

For example, parents vs. kids, employer vs. employees, ruler vs. regular person and so forth.

 

Or maybe, sometimes I do talk too much. But a lot of times, that’s a necessary job to be done, right?

 

Money is not everything but without money you cannot do anything. That’s sort of sad.

never before

This is an active week, the work, kids getting ready to go back to school, 3 community services, and my sickness. (I skip one due to the time conflict.)

This the first time that the cold, ear infection, menstrual, hit me all at the same time and hot weather makes it complicated. Indoor is cool air conditioners, offices and stores. Outdoor is boiling hot. But I have to wear jacket, sometimes scarf too. It looks weird but what can I say.

Also the first time to lead worship with live piano play, it is surely tough, especially to whom without any strong music background, like me. For the past I always rely on the YouTube video, easier, you just follow it and with some sharing in between.

embraced by hymns

Embraced by hymns, it is a special experience.

Last night I didn’t feel very well, I stayed home the whole day. I have an itchy throat. When I went to sleep at night, I pray for my sickness as usual. I bundled myself with blanket and feel like I’m bundle with nonstop hymns the whole night. I literally hear and sing along with them. It feels like a dream, a lovely dream.

I’m not complete recover yet, but I’ll continue praying for everything.

can't & shouldn't say

Something I cannot and should not say to people but I have to and the only thing I can is put them into words and talk to Jesus. It’s sad and happy. It’s depressed that I have to keep them to myself. It’s lucky that I can pour them all out to Him.

My mom stays with us for some years then she decides to go back to Taiwan. My dad stays with us most of the time, only visit Taiwan once a year. My point is why can't he go back and keep Mom Company and take care of each other.

Around 3 or 4 years ago, my mom almost dies. She has some kind of chronic. I really don't how many more 3 years does anyone can have.

I always tell people, forget the past seize now and plan the future.

They should be hand in hand and go travel together near or far, enjoy their life.