This is a great book, I should take time to study it and use it in
real life.
I don’t the have the book, just read the summary from online; I
think its 7 chapters of them.
Chapter 4
Breaking free from abuse:
Seven steps to freedom,
1. Don’t keep it a secret.
2. Name the abuse
3. Don’t minimize it, don't rationalize it.
4. Help them to a safe place if necessary.
5. Don’t confront an abuse by yourself.
6. Being the healing process.
7. Let god settle the score.
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“Christ never verbally abused those who verbally abused him.
When he suffered, he didn’t
Make any threats but left everything to the one who judges
fairly.”
1 Peter 2:23 (GW)
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In most of the cases, the abused person becomes an abuser later on
their life. And they don’t even realize it until others tell them. In some
cases, the person being abused later is abused by another people.
People who being verbally abused by their parent(s), same pattern,
verbally abuse their kids. When they finally notice it, it’s way so hard to
change it by their own will.
Another case is a girl abused by her mom, when she grows up and
married, she is abused by her mom-in-law. It’s another kind of pattern. She’s
eager to have another mom to have a good relationship, trust her and tell her
true story to her.
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For the abusers the first and second steps are easy to accomplish.
But for the third one, a lost of time, they minimize and
rationalize it and don’t even aware of it, or they refuse to admit that they
are being abused.
If someone comes to you with their story, you need to find out
what is the truth.
If that’s a truth, how can we help? If the abuser is their elder mom,
how can you get them to the safe place, because the elderly need to be taken
care of, you cannot just leave them alone, right?
Step 5 is crucial; don’t try to solve it alone, it’s very
dangerous.
Breakthrough the terrible abuse cycle from our lives, it is god
will.
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